I know I haven't posted anything for near on two weeks. I really have almost nothing to write about. I am devoid of ideas. Its like I've fallen into a big black hole of apathy. I know I promised a part two of the Australian lingerie market, and it will come... eventually... right now I am busy being a blob.
A sad, freaked out blob that feels like shes been kicked in the head. I am just learning to drive, and first touched a wheel just over a week ago. My mum and I went to yoga and she was all prepared to let me drive on this one long, quiet street on the way back. Just after the traffic lights at the bottom of the road she pulled into a spot, we got out and switched seats, and I put my learner plates on the car.
I adjusted the seat, indicted, gears, whatever. And lost my head and tuned out way to fast and not sharp enough, scraping the back of the car in front of us quite visibly. My mum freaked and we switched back, whereupon I started crying in horror over what I had done; maimed an innocent persons car, probably maimed my mums car, ruined all my nascent driving confidence, and proved myself as one big, fat, horrible, dangerous liability.
We wrote a note and put it under the damaged car's windscreen wipers apologizing and with my mums number to call and sort out paying for the damage. Which leads on to the next 'Oh SHIT', cost. Whether my mum makes me pay that couple of hundred dollars (which I can completely not afford. At all), or pays for it herself, its a shit-load of money blown in about three seconds on something as dumb and irresponsible as that, which could have been prevented by me not f***ing getting behind the wheel and thinking I could drive.
This is what I feel like
So yes, I feel terrible and really shaken up.