Thursday, 12 December 2013

High heels

Hey all,
I feel so slack, because I haven't posted in weeks and weeks- who am I kidding, I haven't posted in months. I've been overtaken by this slacking, awful apathy and have been sinking in a quagmire of ennui; such like 'why should I xyz', despite te fact that prior xyz was my favorite thing to do ever. Anyway, tres sad, I know. When I was at yoga yesterday, before the class, we were discussing that end of year apathy everyone gets - BUT WHAT IF ITS PERMANENT AND I STAY LIKE A LUMP FOREVER??!!

Personal rant over. It sucks actually, because I've gotten new bras, increased my size, thrown out shit loads of bras, etc, all of which warranted (and still warrants) blog posts. But lo, you exclaim. This IS a post! Well, duh, of course. And I feel it is necessary, more necessary even than bras and lingerie. Girls shoes. Or rather, they are not necessary in themselves, but my horror and anger towards them rages with a fiery passion.

Why the f do guys get to consistently wear shoes in which they can walk? The general criteria of this shoe is lace up or at least full coverage of the foot, so that it never slips, and in wet days, you actually have a chance of foot comfort. If an unexpected walk should be foisted upon you - no problems, be it business shoes or weekend shoes your feet can deal with this shit. Basically, male shoe comfort transcends season and situation. Unless you wear thongs/ flip flops.

But girl shoes. Heels alter your gait, making it seem just a tiny bit more awkward, stilted, regardless of if you are a seasoned heel wearer. You just can't sprint away from a murderer or walk 40 minutes because you missed your bus. And all that strappiness and prettiness and cutouts and indie boho beauty or corporate chic. It doesn't hold your foot! You have to think about walking, when walking should be unconscious! Even in most sandals, those straps dig, move, blister, etc, and I don't recommend running. Also, toes can be stubbed. So what is the point of these un-shoes? What, I ask you, what?!

Of course, there are comfortable sandals and heels, but a) these are often expensive, b) hard to come by and c) ugly.

Implicitly however, it is creepy how women are kept in inhibiting footwear, mincing about, pretty or not - there are gorgeous heels and fugly sandals, pretty boots and awful lace ups. Looks were never really the reason women wear heels, for beauty is only a justification lent to prove, condone or sell something. In itself it is a meaningless and arbitrary concept. But that one half of the population is hobbled and fettered - and no one bats an eyelid. One can also go into the postural, skeletal and muscular implications of strapping boards and pointy things to the soles of your feet, but that someone won't be me because I truly don't know anything but the obvious: that shot can't be less damaging then oxfords, lace ups, trainers and boots.

Don't get me wrong, I am not advocating for you all to burn your heels and sandals on a massive pyre  while chanting Germaine Greer exerts. By that virtue I should burn my slutty, arse revealing clothing because it, too, is impractical and pointless, given that beauty is merely a dependent variable, if I care about beauty at all. No, I like to wear my revealing, impractical clothing just as others like to wear heels. But for some reason heels REALLY annoy me. As we speak I am wearing lace up boots with a yellow summer dress, and not my much more aesthetic nude wedges because I NEED TO WALK PLACES AND DO SHIT, not totter around while... Oh wait... Women are people too who also need to do shit, not wonder around dressed in impractical stuff that implies they have no where to go and nothing to do that a more suitably garbed plebeian couldn't do for them. No, women need proper shoes to make their lesser wages with to buy their overpriced and overmarketed shit with, in a world that they already inhabit at a disadvantage

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Cleo Lucille bikini

It’s coming up to summer now in Sydney, with some lovely hot days interspersed with ugly winter weather, and then bush-fires in the mountains, and then the heat, and then storms and rain. Typical. I have an aversion to clothing that I would not be able to run away from a murderer in, and my wireless bikini and one-piece, however pretty, fall into the I-wouldn’t-be-able-to-flee-in-this-without-clutching-my-heaving-bosom category.

I needed a wired bikini, and so I ordered the Cleo by Panache Lucille from the UK (, because buying a 28FF in a store locally (and trying it on first) would have been waaaay to expensive, and it is impossible to fit into a commercial wired bikini top.

Aesthetic wise, the bikini is young and kitsch. I would have preferred something a little more sophisticated, or boho, or pretty, but the Lucille was within my price range (actually, it was on sale), cute and inoffensive. The colours are clear and bright, and the nautical theme works, given that its swimwear. I am not a fan of the heart in the middle of the bikini, and may snap it off.

Gratuitous beach selfie

The bottoms are flattering, coming up high-ish, without being high waisted. They give no camel-toe, do not bunch in my butt-crack, gape, expose my butt-cheeks, or do anything undesirable, and I would say they run pretty true to size (I got a size 8).

Now for the bikini top. I ordered a 28FF, given that my size seems to have settled on the FF rather than the F side of the fence. When I took it out of the packet, it struck me that there was a lot of cup. Like, a LOT. The cups begin almost at the band. Also contributing to this impression is the smallness of the band. It was only 22 inches unstretched, 28 inches stretched, making it quite true to size, which is good.

Surprisingly, when on, the cups almost seemed too small. They were quite shallow, and though the wire sat fine on me, my high-set and full on top breasts spilled out a little, or at least, I got cleavage that looked a little funny from the side, sort of flattened and pushed up. I would not be able to go up a cup size, as the wires would have been too wide, and also have way too much coverage. When I lay down however, my boobs fall out the top, leaving the bottom of the cup a little empty. I would say that the Lucille might work for lower set/fuller on bottom boobs.

Sorry about the side-ways-ness

Under a t-shirt 

 That pushed up, flattened shape

From my bigger side.  

And my smaller

Support-wise, the Lucille is much better than any of my non-wired bikinis, I can walk and swim and cavort about without anxiously hoicking it up and worrying about nip-slips. I can’t run in without the top, exposed parts of my breasts jiggling, but whatever, it’s a bikini, not a sports bra.

Overall, I am happy with the bikini, and can’t wait to see what Cleo Swim comes out with next!


Gossip Girl Princess

Sunday, 27 October 2013

When Bra turns Evil

The Panache sport has always been my favourite. Pretty, no. It has always been too chunky and high cut, with thick, thick straps. But oh the shape! Projection that made me look like Scarlett Johansson, and roundness and perky... The band was oh so firm, and hardly seemed to stretch, and it was comfortable. The wires were padded, the whole thing was padded, chafe and rub not did it as I ran and jumped and missed copious buses.
But because of the very full up style, and the way the gore and wire placement isn't visible, it had probably gotten a bit small. No biggy. It was still practically the best bra ever.

Here is my finishers medal. They gave me two. I don't know why. Only one is pictured.

That is, until it went feral. This morning I had a 10km race, in which I was aiming for a sub 50 minute time (spoiler: I didn't make it). At about the 6k mark it felt like something bit me on my sternum. The pain and irritation intensified, but it's not like I was about to pull out of the race because of it. I finished, not particularly concerned with my shitty time - it was a really fun way to spend the morning. Unfortunately, it took us an hour to get home STILL WEARING BRA FROM HELL. It stung so bad every time I moved the bra or wire. When I got home I WHIPPED it off to find a massive, shiny welt that I couldn't even touch. 

There were wire marks all over my right breast, so it was obviously too small, or had done some serious slipping.
I tried showering but I couldn't get the mark wet without considerable pain, so I am half filthy yet. And braless. And managed to put together this charming outfit, which I wore to an art exhibition, and shopping. Oh the joy. It is converse that were once my dads, a jumper that is clearly beyond ravishing, unwashed post-run hair (my shower failed), and tights instead of leggings. Yep, like tights that you wear under a dress, with the funny grey crotch insert:

I am going to go to my local bra boutique once my poor torso is in a state to try anything on and get new sports bras (and maybe not-sports bras as well), and until it heals I can't wear a bra or exercise (involving bounce). I'm so sad because I really thought I could trust my bras! I think there comes a point where even those with a large bra collection, whom they thought they understood, just get thrown a complete curve ball. I have honestly no idea what the converted-to-the-dark-side bra experience was about, or what caused it. In a way, it is almost humbling, to know that no matter how much I think (or know) I can control about my running, or clothing, or life, I can't control everything, eliminate all variables and factors of random (sometimes unpleasant surprises). I guess there's a lesson in that.

And it is NOT fun running for a bus braless :(



Monday, 7 October 2013

No Posts and Driving

I know I haven't posted anything for near on two weeks. I really have almost nothing to write about. I am devoid of ideas. Its like I've fallen into a big black hole of apathy. I know I promised a part two of the Australian lingerie market, and it will come... eventually... right now I am busy being a blob.

A sad, freaked out blob that feels like shes been kicked in the head. I am just learning to drive, and first touched a wheel just over a week ago. My mum and I went to yoga and she was all prepared to let me drive on this one long, quiet street on the way back. Just after the traffic lights at the bottom of the road she pulled into a spot, we got out and switched seats, and I put my learner plates on the car.

I adjusted the seat, indicted, gears, whatever. And lost my head and tuned out way to fast and not sharp enough, scraping the back of the car in front of us quite visibly. My mum freaked and we switched back, whereupon I started crying in horror over what I had done; maimed an innocent persons car, probably maimed my mums car, ruined all my nascent driving confidence, and proved myself as one big, fat, horrible, dangerous liability.

We wrote a note and put it under the damaged car's windscreen wipers apologizing and with my mums number to call and sort out paying for the damage.  Which leads on to the next 'Oh SHIT', cost. Whether my mum makes me pay that couple of hundred dollars (which I can completely not afford. At all), or pays for it herself, its a shit-load of money blown in about three seconds on something as dumb and irresponsible as that, which could have been prevented by me not f***ing getting behind the wheel and thinking I could drive.

This is what I feel like

So yes, I feel terrible and really shaken up.
Thank you.

Saturday, 28 September 2013

Made in Preston

The brand Made In Preston now has purchasable 26 band bras, from DD-J. The company also makes wired bralettes, bikinis, tops and dresses, but FREAKING TWENTY SIX BANDS!!!!!!!!! So far there are two styles, with coordinating knickers.

The Winter Brights set:

And the Winter Punk Lace set.

Let me just register my excitement yet again!

Princess (Both images taken from the MIP facebook page:

Charlotte Bra and High Waisted Briefs

Parfait Charlotte Padded Bra Red & Black

Despite receiving my Tutti Rouge sets only a month ago (, I had since become desirous of the Parfait Affinitas Charlotte set, in the new size range, which had expanded to include 28 bands. I ordered the Charlotte plunge in red, 28F, and the high-waisted briefs in XS, last Wednesday, here:

The Aftermath laying on my bed

The package arriving on Friday the next week was exceptionally quick for Australian, and cheap too (for Australia, at $9.80, calculated, quite fairly, as a percentage of the purchase cost).

Aesthetically, the set is really nice. There is both shiny material, and matte, as well as black trimmings and bows. The set is not whimsical, girly, and fussy, as lingerie is wont to be, instead being somewhat solid, assured looking almost... but nevertheless very pretty! Coupled with the high waisted panties there is a very retro, pinup feel, which suits me well. Upon trying both pieces on, I, not having tried on anything by Parfait-Affinitas before, was struck by how well made and non-scratchy (very important!) they were. Please excuse the photo-quality,btw, they were done at night, and whether with flash or without, the colour has been distorted. In reality it is a rich, deep, flattering red, more like what the official pics show.

 The front of the panties

 And the back

 The back of the bra

 Interior of the cups

 Part of he band, made of some nice mesh

 Bow and ribbon at gore. Also notice the contrasting stitching

Size wise, the briefs were firm for me at the tummy, but, having ordered an XS, I was not surprised. My waist has been biggering, from 24" to 25 or 26 inches, or S territory, while my hips remain at 34-35", or XS territory. I don't like to size up because I like to have panties firm on my butt, not gaping around and potentially getting caught in my butt crack.

Alas, the bra just didn't fit. The band was firm, comfortable, and lay parallel to the floor without digging or causing discomfort. Apparently the earlier Charlotte models ran very tight, so it seems this has been corrected. I really wanted to try this bra after hearing that the cups where deep, and wires very very narrow, just like the Polish bras, but not Polish (obviously). Since shipping, returns and figuring out sizing was such a nightmare for me the one and only time I ordered from Ewa Michalak, I wanted to try the wire shape in the non-polish Charlotte. The wires are VERY narrow indeed, maybe 2 cm narrower than this standard-cupped 30E (same cup size, due to sister sizing).

Wire comparison

The cups are also somewhat deeper than usual, though not outstandingly so. Again, note the comparison to the 30E.

Simply, the bra was too small, through no fault of it's own, I just took the incorrect size. Nevertheless, it was not uncomfortable or irritating. I am at my largest of the month atm (tmi, but I am just being accurate!). I would guesstimate a 28FF or very narrow 28G, as I suspect I have put on weight these holidays. Case in point, today heralded 3 slices of cheesecake and 4 peanut butter cups. Nevertheless, I would say that the bra runs a little on the smaller side cup-wise. The too-smallness of the bra is also exacerbated by my very full-on-top breasts, which make the quadra-boobage all the worse.

The singlet sits right on the top edge of the cups. This is my smaller side

And larger side. The visibility of the cups is more due to the shittiness of the singlet than their size

 I am debating if I should exchange it for a 28FF, which could fit me at smaller times of the month, and still provide cleavage, or if to size up even to a 28G.

Aforementioned cleavage. Sometimes too-small bras have advantages! And yep, that awful tan-line is from wearing my black Panache Sport to the beach, because I don't like wearing non-supportive bikinis, and am too broke after these holidays to buy a proper wired one.

In going up to the 28G, I am afraid the cups might dig into the top of my  armpits (I have high-set breasts). Also, I might sacrifice the narrowness of the wire.



Sunday, 22 September 2013

Freya Taylor and Bra Alterations

A bra I have had for quite a while is the Freya Taylor. Now, the smallest size the boutique had was a 30 band, so, being a little less savvy, I bought the bra in a 30DD (I was a cup size or two smaller then anyway). Anyway, as Freya bands are wont to do, the band stretched. So the Taylor went from being a size too big, on the stretchier side of a 30 band, to stretching to the large size of 33 inches, or a large 32 band. Despite the cleavage which Deco bras, and Deco variations (like the Taylor) are known for, the band made the whole thing too uncomfortable to wear, ie; I had to tighten the straps until they were painful to get proper 'butt-crack' cleavage, and the band was in my armpits.

Nevertheless, the bra is gorgeous! the colour is unlikely, black, caramel and brown, but surprisingly looks lovely together, expensive, luxurious and harmonious. The subtle stripes, and sheer fabric overlay on the cups, the velvet trim on the top of the cups and the adorable little mesh bows all contribute to making it look so pretty, expensive and retro. On the note of expensive, that bra cost me $90. Bra shopping locally, I guess.

I decided to salvage my poor, abandoned Taylor from the fate of my bottom drawer of uncomfortable lingerie, and took it to my Grandmas to use her sewing machine. It WOULD have taken 5 minutes, only the machine caught some cotton, and my grandmother and I spent half an hour fixing it, whereupon, as is her want, she just did the alteration for me. Basically, she took in two centimeters off each side of the bra, and then sewed the surplus fabric down. SO now the band measures only 29" stretched.

I cannot emphasize how comfortable it is now. I can hardly feel the bra on me all day, and my my tits looks smashing (did I just say that?). However, the bottom of the left seam sometimes digs into my bony rib cage. But whatever, now that the bra is wearable again, I can focus on the fit of the cups and straps. Predictably, by narrowing the band, the straps are a little too wide, and sometimes fall off my left shoulder, which, to be fair, happens with every bra on me. The wires are quite narrow, and I do have some side-boob, but I am still adequately fitting the sister size of a 28E. So saying, I might, in an alternate universe where I have enough money to buy more bras, try a 28F, or 26FF if it existed. Also, the cups come nowhere near my armpits, which is a blessing for my high-set breasts.

Here is the Taylor on me

In summary, I LOVE this bra, and highly recommend it, though maybe (if you are planning on wearing it for ages, and thus stretch the band) size down in the band and cup. You can buy it here: