Thursday, 12 December 2013

High heels

Hey all,
I feel so slack, because I haven't posted in weeks and weeks- who am I kidding, I haven't posted in months. I've been overtaken by this slacking, awful apathy and have been sinking in a quagmire of ennui; such like 'why should I xyz', despite te fact that prior xyz was my favorite thing to do ever. Anyway, tres sad, I know. When I was at yoga yesterday, before the class, we were discussing that end of year apathy everyone gets - BUT WHAT IF ITS PERMANENT AND I STAY LIKE A LUMP FOREVER??!!

Personal rant over. It sucks actually, because I've gotten new bras, increased my size, thrown out shit loads of bras, etc, all of which warranted (and still warrants) blog posts. But lo, you exclaim. This IS a post! Well, duh, of course. And I feel it is necessary, more necessary even than bras and lingerie. Girls shoes. Or rather, they are not necessary in themselves, but my horror and anger towards them rages with a fiery passion.

Why the f do guys get to consistently wear shoes in which they can walk? The general criteria of this shoe is lace up or at least full coverage of the foot, so that it never slips, and in wet days, you actually have a chance of foot comfort. If an unexpected walk should be foisted upon you - no problems, be it business shoes or weekend shoes your feet can deal with this shit. Basically, male shoe comfort transcends season and situation. Unless you wear thongs/ flip flops.

But girl shoes. Heels alter your gait, making it seem just a tiny bit more awkward, stilted, regardless of if you are a seasoned heel wearer. You just can't sprint away from a murderer or walk 40 minutes because you missed your bus. And all that strappiness and prettiness and cutouts and indie boho beauty or corporate chic. It doesn't hold your foot! You have to think about walking, when walking should be unconscious! Even in most sandals, those straps dig, move, blister, etc, and I don't recommend running. Also, toes can be stubbed. So what is the point of these un-shoes? What, I ask you, what?!

Of course, there are comfortable sandals and heels, but a) these are often expensive, b) hard to come by and c) ugly.

Implicitly however, it is creepy how women are kept in inhibiting footwear, mincing about, pretty or not - there are gorgeous heels and fugly sandals, pretty boots and awful lace ups. Looks were never really the reason women wear heels, for beauty is only a justification lent to prove, condone or sell something. In itself it is a meaningless and arbitrary concept. But that one half of the population is hobbled and fettered - and no one bats an eyelid. One can also go into the postural, skeletal and muscular implications of strapping boards and pointy things to the soles of your feet, but that someone won't be me because I truly don't know anything but the obvious: that shot can't be less damaging then oxfords, lace ups, trainers and boots.

Don't get me wrong, I am not advocating for you all to burn your heels and sandals on a massive pyre  while chanting Germaine Greer exerts. By that virtue I should burn my slutty, arse revealing clothing because it, too, is impractical and pointless, given that beauty is merely a dependent variable, if I care about beauty at all. No, I like to wear my revealing, impractical clothing just as others like to wear heels. But for some reason heels REALLY annoy me. As we speak I am wearing lace up boots with a yellow summer dress, and not my much more aesthetic nude wedges because I NEED TO WALK PLACES AND DO SHIT, not totter around while... Oh wait... Women are people too who also need to do shit, not wonder around dressed in impractical stuff that implies they have no where to go and nothing to do that a more suitably garbed plebeian couldn't do for them. No, women need proper shoes to make their lesser wages with to buy their overpriced and overmarketed shit with, in a world that they already inhabit at a disadvantage

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